Posts in Mental Health
[#SKOA30] Day 12: A Song That Brings Up Painful Memories

5 years ago I got out of a relationship that had almost completely hollowed me out as a person. As I do with everything and everyone I love, I had really poured as much of myself as possible into that relationship . In return I would come to realize that I had been emotionally abused and gaslit into such a state that I could barely recognize the person looking back at me in the mirror. I think one of the hardest parts of recovering from that relationship was watching my ex happily run off with the woman he had started a relationship with before ours ended with seemingly little to no recourse for the way he hurt me. He even reached out a handful of times thinking that at some point we would be able to be friends. I remember being in the thick of it in therapy, working to uncover how much emotional abuse I had endured during that relationship when mAsis’ “Virginia Wolf” came into my life. I had finally come to understand how little I had actually been respected and how much I had been manipulated in my relationship. As tiny emotional triggers would surface during my day to day activities, most were fairly easy to recognize and work past. The ones where I would essentially just shut down amidst the de-programming process, I would hear the almost whimper/wail-like hook from this song, “please let me go”. The whole song really encapsulated exactly how I was feeling at the time if I’m being honest. I was so desperate to get past all the harm that he’d done, but unfortunately I’ve come to learn that healing/personal growth isn’t always linear. It’s certainly been a process and I’d like to say all the work is done, but every now and then something small will occasionally come up that I’m forced to examine.

#SKOASelfCare: Wilderado Shares Their Mental Health Maintenance Tips From The Road
Wilderado outside of Sunset Sound in Los Angeles, CA. Photo gently lifted from  their Instagram .

Wilderado outside of Sunset Sound in Los Angeles, CA. Photo gently lifted from their Instagram.

Touring is often looked at by musicians as a necessary evil due to how taxing it can be on their mental health. No matter your tour budget, finding moments of self care on the road can be tricky to come up with when you’ve only got so much time before load-in, so I’ve decided to start asking around for ideas from bands while they’re mid-tour.

Since I’m seeing them tomorrow night (10/27) at Music Hall of Williamsburg, I decided to hit up Tulsa rockers, Wilderado (who you hopefully checked out in this week’s diSKOAver weekly playlist) to see what’s been working for them on their tour with other SKOA favorites Sure Sure. Gotta say, I am loving the tips that singer Max Rainer sent through! From my brief stint in tour managing I can tell you that some of these are a hard agree from me.


This is “Thieves” smells pretty awesome and supposedly makes you less susceptible to germs. Our drummer’s wife sells this stuff and i dump it on everything (my bag, backpack, arms, neck).


Reading books helps me not think so much.


I’m not so sure if this stuff actually benefits me in any way other than tasting great and feeling good. I just like having it around, the name says it all.


I currently have bronchitis, so maybe i shouldn’t be the one doing this, BUT, these multivitamins are amazing. This is the first time I’ve been sick on the road, and these things are keeping me alive.


Listen to something other than your own music that you’re playing over and over and over. Sometimes I’ll even just hang out listening to the calm app... it sounds so real.

Grab the Calm app on iOS & Android


NY fam come hang with me tomorrow night (10/27) at Music Hall of Williamsburg to catch these guys live. Should you need a refresher of their sound you can find their latest single, “Sorrow” in this week’s diSKOAver weekly playlist below!.

LIFE UPDATE: Things Are About To Get More Awesome Around Here



When you get so depressed that you can't even find joy doing your most favorite thing (sharing music with people) you KNOW you're in the thick of it. 

I won't lie, it's been a really rough 6 months. I had a bunch of crushing life changing experiences happen to me, BUT the good news is yer girl made it through! 

For awhile now I've been thinking about how much has changed since SKOA came in to existence and how much I've changed personally. At my core, music is still the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. That said, the ways in which I choose to love music and the community around it have changed quite a bit. The longer I work in music the more I see how much work that needs to be done so that music is without a doubt the safest space for all of us. I have always valued the power that the music community wields when put to good use and I would like to do my part in focusing that incredible energy on creating lasting positive changes. 

I'm still working on my game plan for putting all of my ideas into action, but know that in addition to sharing songs that make my heart swell I will be making an effort to do what I can to make the music community a more inclusive and positive space. 

So yeah, lots of really awesome things coming. Oh also diSKOAver weekly and Song of the Day are officially coming back full time starting T O D A Y so GET HYPE! 

I look forward to starting this next chapter with you guys. 

<3 <3 <3